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Jun 6

Written by: kerilynn
6/6/2009 4:00 AM

January 5, 2009 - the official day I was told that I have breast cancer.  Looking back, I guess I knew something wasn't right when I found the lump and when they did an immediate biopsy with my mammogram and when the doctor's office called to tell me to bring someone with me to my doctors appt on the 5th.  I stayed positive and kept telling myself that it is nothing - just a cyst.  As soon as I saw the doctor's face when she walked into the room I knew that everything was NOT alright.  That half hour is a complete blur to me now but I do remember just feeling in a complete state of shock.  I am 36 years old and I just had two babies - breast cancer is something that older women are supposed to be concerned about.  I am still trying to figure out how to get my baby to sleep through the night.  Cancer, aggressive, lymph nodes positive, surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and then the part of the conversation I do remember - depending on where it has spread, we are talking number of years.  That is when I completely broke down.  I have two young babies and they are why my life has meaning  - how could God give me something so precious and then take it away from me.  That night I told my parents and brother my terrible news.  I am very close to my family and it broke my heart to tell them my news.  They were devastated and by the end of the night, I was the strong one who was consoling them.  Fortunately, my kids really do not understand what is happening to mommy so it is a good distraction for everyone.  They need me and I need them to keep my mind focused on something other than having cancer.  I couldn't sleep that night and spent the night on the couch sobbing and feeling so scared.    I have never felt so helpless before.  All that I could think about was my children and missing out on their life.  It was around 4:00 am in the morning and I was exhausted but my mind would not stop.  Then something amazing happened - I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I looked up, no one was there.  An incredible amount of peace surrounded me and I was able to finally fall asleep.  My guardian angel was there to let me know everything was going to be okay regardless of the end result.  That is one of many blessing that have been brought my way since my diagnosis.  I never thought cancer and blessing would ever be in the same sentence but my list keeps getting longer and I hope I can share it with you in my blog.

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9 comments so far...

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

Thank you for sharing your story. There is a company that I discovered today that is offering $1000 to 15 people who share their story of hope in a short paragraph. I thought that your story would be a really good contender to winning.

This company is also donating $100,000 to Breast Cancer Nework of Strength. Feel free to check them out if interested. It is neat to see companies using their influence to make a difference. http://www.ocedar.com/hope

By Jennifer on   7/13/2009 9:29 PM

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

inspiring testimony

By maria sanchez on   9/14/2009 4:06 PM

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

What amazing courage you have, all my prayers and best wishes go out to you. Thank you for sharing your story...

By sandy on   10/1/2009 7:23 PM

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

Bravo
Love for you and your kids

By meishow on   11/13/2009 3:37 AM

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

THAT WAS AN INPIRATIONAL STORY AND I HOPE AND PRAY THAT EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR THE BETTER FOR YOU N UR CHILDRED, FAMILY THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY

By muneca on   4/22/2010 12:17 AM

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

The author describes her experiences of the day when she was told that she has breast cancer. It was atraumatic time for her
http://www.laderma.com/

By Cosmetic Surgery Abroad on   2/13/2012 12:25 PM

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

that's what my wife and myself have been going through for the past 3 weeks, she's going for mastectomy this friday and the start of the un-chartered journey. we feel so helpless and often question ourselves, why this can happened? why there's no cure for cancer?

By roger on   7/17/2012 5:50 AM

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

that's what my wife and myself have been going through for the past 3 weeks, she's going for mastectomy this friday and the start of the un-chartered journey. we feel so helpless and often question ourselves, why this can happened? why there's no cure for cancer?

By roger on   7/18/2012 3:58 AM

Re: The day I will never forget - January 5, 2009

so loveable mommy, keep your head up, we love youuuu <3

By melvinaldila on   9/13/2012 3:46 PM

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